This website uses cookies

Welcome! This website uses cookies to give the best, most relevant experience. By using our website you consent to all cookies, and agree to our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use / EULA. The website is intended for adults 18 years of age or older or who are of the age of majority in their jurisdiction of residence. By accessing the website, you represent that you are 18 years of age or older.

Daddy, Stop Talking! And Other Things My Kids Want But Won't Be Getting

Author:
Binding: Paperback
List Price: $18.50
Our Price: $2.30 CAD
Qty Avail: 7


ISBN: 9780062394255
Publisher: William Morrow Cookbooks
Language: English
Page Count: 239
Publication Date: 5/3/2016
Size: 8.03" l x 5.23" w x 0.68"
Series: N/A

Last Will & Testament of Adam Carolla

I, Adam Carolla, being of beaten-down mind, declare this to be my Last Will and Testament. I revoke all wills and addendums previously made by me. (You guys never did listen, anyway.)

Article I

I appoint the rest of the world's unappreciated dads as Personal Representatives to administer this Will. I bequeath to them the right to crack a couple cold ones in the garage after working their asses off all week and ask that they be permitted to watch all the porn they like and not have to change diapers and get dragged to every preschool "graduation" and PTA meeting.

Article II

To my wife, I leave a safe-deposit box, the sole content of which is a note reading "Get a job. I'm dead," and my best wishes on trying to keep up with the unending demands of our houses, cars, dog, and kids.

Article III

I devise, bequeath, and give my kids this book, Daddy, Stop Talking. Since you guys were the death of me, I leave you these pages of wisdom. But no cash, cars, or property. You've got to earn those. On that note, I further demand that the following message be placed on the marker of my grave: "You're All on Your Own Now. Enjoy."

You May Also Like

Similar Items